Stubbornness and Pneumonia

Okay, I officially admit it--I'm slightly hard headed.  I think I've gotten better over the years, but I'm not completely cured.  There are some things that I'm am completely stubborn about: my refusal to eat red meat, my affinity for cold peanut butter, bedtime for the littles (even when we are traveling), and trying to knock out any sickness with the power of my pathetic immune system--refusing to to go to the dr. 

Can I just say: I repent!

Tuesday night, July 31, I felt great as I was going to bed, but suddenly felt chilled. You know uncontrollable teeth chattering, give-me-a-load-of-blankets-even-though-it-is-Summer type of chill. I woke up around 5am to feed Sunshine and felt feverish. Sure enough, a low grade temp.  Oh, we'll this too shall pass...just so long as the littles are healthy.

Then came morning.

Fever climbed:101, 102. Chills, sweating, pounding headache, cough.

Irrational stubborn me: Seriously? What a nuisance.  I can knock this. 

Night came. Fever rose: 103, 104. 

Irrational stubborn me: I can knock it! I can do it. It's just a virus. It will go away on its own.

I do this for 72 hours until the fever gets so bad, I'm pretty sure I saw my owl from Hogwarts arrive in my bedroom while Hagrid waited in the tree.  

Cool if it were possible, but it's not.

So there is the breaking point.  I finally decided to go to the doctor. Yes, it took a completely fabulous hallucination to break me, but I went.

Good thing too: pneumonia.  If I had waited any longer I'd probably be in the hospital. 

So here we are 4 antibiotics later: double pneumonia and strep throat. And am I trying to take care of myself now?  You bet. I'm in bed, resting, and allowing myself to be waited on hand and foot. 

Here's the thing. As moms we tend to think we can do it all.  We try to do it all.  But the reality is we can't.  And there are some things that are simply beyond our control (like illness). The sooner we learn this truth the better.

Do I feel completely and utterly useless? Yes. Is it difficult to pass the responsibility of being mom to someone else so I can rest? Absolutely. After all, no one can do the job quite like me...you know what I mean, my fellow Super Mom. 

Sometimes being "super mom" isn't about doing it all. Sometimes it is about doing "nothing" at all.  See, through this Sweet Pea is learning a valuable lesson: how to take care of sick people. Not only does she help me by getting things or keeping me company, but it has been a great opportunity to talk about germs and how to stay healthy when someone else is sick. 

This three plus week journey has provided the opportunity for a life lesson for my daughter. True, I can't do the things I normally would with her, but I can still be mom. I can still guide her and teach her through illness. 

Is every moment perfect? No. We still have our moments of two-year-oldness. But there are ah-ha moments sprinkled in as well: like when I have a coughing fit and she brings me a Kleenex without me asking or she crawls up next to me for snuggles saying "I sorry you body sick, Mommy." Sweet beautiful moments of service and love...nothing can damper that...not even double pneumonia.