the Case of the Baby Snatcher

With all the wanted (and sometimes unwanted) new parenting advice we have received, no one warned me about the baby snatchers. You know, the people who see a brand new baby and operate within the assumption that the baby actually desires to be displaced without permission from their mother's arms. Okay, so perhaps it isn't the baby that feels discomfort, but I certainly do! 

Now, I know that Sweet Pea is the most beautiful baby girl to ever grace this planet. Such cuteness is indeed irresistible, but I prefer there be a certain amount of self control when interacting with my child. 

Number one: if you want to hold my baby, no problem...just ask first. Never under any circumstances should you remove my child from my arms without first asking my permission or me offering it. It makes me very uncomfortable and it is rude. Who takes a child from its mother anyway? 

Number two: if you are going to hold my child you will wash your hand first. This is not meant to be insulting, but is merely precautionary. It is a simple fact that anyone can pick up a germ and pass it on to someone else (in this case Sweet Pea)...which can in turn give my baby a sickness. This is not acceptable. I will not have my child ill simply because you wanted a moment of baby smuggling pleasure without taking 30 seconds to wash your hands! And another reason I don't want your unclean hands on her is merely because of the unknown. I have no idea of what the last thing you touched is. It could be harmless or let's face it, it could have been the inside of your nose! Adult nose picking exists. Just look at the guy at the stop light next to you...we've all seen him. He doesn't think anyone's looking, but you know his secret. He is 42 years old and still digs for for his own boogers. All that to say, I don't want your mucous on my baby either! 

Number three: even if your hands are washed please try to refrain from touching her face or kissing it. Perhaps when she is older, this will not be much of an issue. For now though remember the earlier comments about those microscopic organisms known as germs.

So to all you advice givers out there...wish you would have warned me about this one. Maybe I would have responded differently if I had know there was such a thing as a baby snatcher. Instead I stood there dumbfounded watching in painful slow motion as Sweet Pea was taken from me. I was appalled, shocked, and frustrated with how inconsiderate it was. I watched intently making sure her possibly unclean hands didn't touch Sweet Pea anywhere near the face yet determining she was getting a bath regardless. Simultaneously, I brainstormed ways to eliminate any future baby snatching.

So thus begins my parenting story. I hope to share with you not only the irksome moments, but the celebrations as well. Welcome to the Hurt Clan diaries. This is our journey...